


Domestic Bliss

by divinereid



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Mutual Pining, Smut, nanny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26888395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divinereid/pseuds/divinereid
Summary: Aaron Hotchner hires someone to help him take care of his son after Haley dies. He’s surprised to realize how much he needed someone to take care of him as well.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Reader, Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 69





	Domestic Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @divinereid !

It had now been two weeks since you lost your job, and every day you felt more and more hopeless that you’d never find work again. You called every family you could get ahold of, but everyone already had a nanny. You kept checking in with your contacts to see if any Diplomats and their families were moving here to DC, but there was nothing. The need for a nanny; or specifically, your kind of nanny that works with government families, was all dried up. You were hopeless, broke, and could only sleep on your sisters couch for so long.   
Your days were usually filled with you wandering random streets, hoping to bump into a friend who could help you out of your slump. You thought about the kids who you nannied for, last. Twin girls, six years old. They were perfect, and you missed them dearly. But their father was a Diplomat, and was swept away to South Africa. You scrolled through pictures of them on your phone, walking up the street to a nearby coffee shop. You smiled at videos of them, losing yourself in your phone, before bumping into a building and almost breaking your kneecap.   
You groaned in pain as you sat down on a close bench, hugging your leg. You took a deep breath, on the verge of tears as you thought, “Could life get worse than this?” Everything around you was crumbling, and it was only a matter of time before you suffocate under all the debris. You felt your phone vibrating in your hand, rolling your eyes, not ready to deal with whoever needed you at this moment.   
You didn’t recognize the number, but recognized the DC area code. You were worried it might be a hospital or something, your anxiety giving you a weird instinct that you needed to answer the phone. You accepted the call and brought the phone to your ear, grinding your teeth as you awaited your fate of the mysterious call.   
“Hi, I’m looking for (Y/N).” A man’s voice requested, his tone filled with authority, a mild twinge of desperation laying underneath.   
“Uh, yes, this is her.”   
“My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner. I got your contact information from Ambassador Gardner. I hope it’s okay to call you on this phone.”   
“Oh, of course,” you perked up, the thought of the Ambassador and his family filling you with happiness.   
“Well, as it turns out, I am desperately looking for a live-in nanny. He told me you were fantastic and he was heartbroken that he had to leave you.”   
“I wish I could’ve gone with him, and the girls. I would’ve, in a heartbeat, but I have some… things that have kept me here.”   
“I am meeting with a few other applicants, but Ned’s recommendation was so high, I really wanted to meet you. If you have time, of course. I’m sure you are highly sought after.” You could hear a twinge of nervousness in his voice, as if he was worried he wouldn’t be good enough. You were very highly qualified and highly praised in your field, but the market was dry, right now. And no one was begging for your services. But, it wouldn't hurt if he didn’t know that, right?   
“Yeah, I’ve got a few interviews this week, let me see if I can fit you in?” You lied, pretending to look at your calender for a moment to find time in your perfectly clear schedule. “Thursday, around lunch?”   
“I could do that, as long as I’m not called out on a case. I’d like for you to come meet Jack, my son. Could we meet at my apartment? I am in the process of moving us into a house, but there’s a few things that aren’t ready for us to move in, yet.”   
“Of course, text me the address, I’ll be there at noon.”   
“Thank you, again, for meeting me. I really, really need your help.”   
“Absolutely. I will see you Thursday.”   
You ended the call, clutching the phone in your hand. You immediately knew he was a single dad, by him saying “I” need your help. You felt nauseous, the pain in his voice in the last sentence sending shivers through your entire body. He was in tremendous pain, and it poured out of him like fine wine. You weren’t sure if it was something you could handle. An emotionally vulnerable man? Bad news. Especially for you, who had an unfortunate soft spot for men with baggage.  
You anxiously played with your hands, feeling torn. On one hand, this could be the only job offer you see for months. You didn’t really have a choice. But, on the other, you weren’t sure how well this situation would end up for you. One rule you always made yourself was never to work for a single dad. It sounded harsh, but it’s not hard to gain feelings for someone who lives with you and takes care of your child. Even the married men had a hard time not crossing those boundaries. And if this man did have some sort of trauma, you knew you’d eventually get close to him and he’ll open up. And once someone shares their trauma with you, it’s really hard to turn back around.   
You didn’t have a choice, though. You needed a job, and that was more important than anything. You needed to at least meet them, give it a chance. If the vibes aren’t right, you’ll say no. It's as easy as that. Right? 

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

“Jack, please, let me put your shoes on?” Hotch groaned, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead and getting up to chase after his toddler once again. Jack giggled as he ran away from Hotch, running around the living room with just his socks. Hotch grabbed him around the waist and picked him up, pulling his close and hugging him.   
“I love you, little man, but (Y/N) will be here any second and you need to put on your shoes,” Hotch teased, kissing Jack on the forehead.   
“Okay, Daddy,” he responded, smiling at Hotch. His smile always reminded Hotch of Haley. It was so similar to hers, it always made his head spin a little. It felt like she was there, with them, again. And that was what he wanted more than anything.   
The doorbell rang, breaking him out of his memory spiral and back down to Earth. He set Jack down in a chair and gave him his phone, letting him play whatever game he felt like. Hotch jogged to the door, taking a moment to straighten himself out before opening it.   
He was immediately taken aback by the woman standing in front of him. She was much different than how he pictured her, and way different than all the other nanny’s he had previously interviewed. She was much younger, and had such a noticeable golden aura around her, he felt warm just standing in her presence. He looked at her, and it was like the sun had personally come down to Earth and blessed her with it’s radiance.   
“Aaron, right?” She spoke, her words singing in his ears, the sound of the sun dragging him out of the darkness he so frequently lived in.   
“Yes, and you must be (Y/N)? Thank you so much for fitting us in this week, come on in,” he spoke, his words spilling out of him awkwardly as he walked her effortlessly stride into his apartment.   
“We are, um, moving into a real house at the end of the week. There will be a bedroom and bathroom there, for you. If you choose to work for us, of course.”   
“I like that you say work for ‘us’, and not me. You really want the best for Jack, don’t you,” she asked, looking at the young boy who was engrossed in the screen in front of him.   
“Jack, why don’t you come meet (Y/N)?” Hotch instructed, watching the boy as he set the phone down on the table and ran to his father’s side.   
“Hi, sweetheart,” she smiled, sitting down on the floor and sticking her hand out. “It is wonderful to meet you, Jack Hotchner.”   
Aaron laughed, watching his small son shake her adult sized hand. He could already see her warmth rolling off to Jack, as he spoke to her with a lightness that Hotch hadn’t seen in months. He watched the girl closely as she spoke to Jack, their natural connection clear from the moment they met. She was someone he could picture looking after his son, way more than any of the other interviews. And he had barely talked to her.   
“Jack, why don’t you go to your room and put together some of your toys to show (Y/N)?” Hotch suggested, slightly nudging the boy to leave for a moment so he could formerly interview her. Jack replied with happiness and ran to his room, excited to show off his favorite toys.   
“He’s wonderful,” she whispered, taking a seat on the couch and grabbing some papers out of her bag.  
“He’s… holding up. All things considered,” Aaron nodded, staring at the ground as thoughts of Haley filled his brain once again.   
“I hate to ask, but I probably should know… what happened to Jack’s mom?” (Y/N) looked at Aaron, her eyes filled with curiosity as she awaited her answer. It felt wrong, subjecting her light to something so dark as Haley’s death. You could already imagine the shade of gray her cloud would be when she heard the tragic truth of Haley.   
“She, um… she was murdered.” Aaron stuttured over his words, praying that Jack didn’t overhear his words.   
“Oh my god,” she gasped, her eyes closed as she processed the information. “Was it…”  
“My fault?” Aaron interrupted, his mind knowing exactly what her thoughts were.   
“I was going to ask if it was random.” She whispered, her words still carrying the same golden tone as before. She didn’t seem overly affected by the news, or if she was, she was very good at hiding it.   
“No. It was because of me, because of my job. I put her and Jack in danger.” Aaron felt himself getting angry, remembering Foyet and feeling sick at the site of his face. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to ground yourself.   
“You seem to hold a lot of guilt over her death,” (Y/N) responded, her voice calm and flat as she studied him. Aaron felt invaded, as if this sudden random stranger had access to every single personal aspect of his life.   
“How could I not feel guilty? I could’ve… I should've saved her,” he responded, breathlessly.   
“Have you ever thought about what you did do? You saved Jack. As a mom, I’m sure that was what was most important to her.”   
“You don’t know anything about it, (Y/N). Don’t walk in here and act like you have answers.”   
“I’m sorry, SSA Hotchner. I truly didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that, I’ve done this job for a while. One day, Jack will have questions. And if you’re not emotionally available to answer them, he will turn to me. I need to know what to say.”   
“You don’t even have the job yet,” Aaron barked, his face hot and his body tense as he watched her. She stayed calm, strangely still, as if she was used to handling adult men having emotional breakdowns in front of her.   
“Daddy!” Jack yelled, running from the hallway, carrying a handful of toys. “I grabbed this one, and this one,” he shouted, raising the toys above his head so you could both see.   
“That’s so cool, buddy,” Aaron muttered, clearly distracted and lost in his own mind. The girl grabbed something out of her bag, and stood up. She walked over to Aaron, her radiance making him wince as she got close. It was almost too much for his cloudiness, he hadn’t seen it in so long, and now he was staring it right in the face. It blinded him. Her warmth, her glow, her happiness. It blinded him.   
“Things seem a little chaotic here, at the moment,” she whispered, handing him a small business card. “If you decide you need me, give me a call.”   
She smiled down at him, a look that reminded him of one you’d give a homeless dog. He felt so embarrassed and ashamed, his breakdowns becoming more and more destructive. He wasn’t sleeping, eating, and could barely hold a conversation. And now he just ruined the best possible chance for his son to have a good caretaker.   
His head was pounding, an endless throbbing pain living right behind his eye. She had left already, leaving an essence of her light clinging to the air. Aaron already missed her presence, as if the room somehow got darker when she left. She reminded him a lot of Haley, who had the same cheerful and shining presence as (Y/N). That was, until he infected her with his darkness. He couldn’t do that to another person.   
He played with the card in his hand, staring at the numbers printed on the piece of paper. Jack had turned on the TV and zoned himself away into cartoons. Aaron stared at the screen, trying to make sense of the words, but his own thoughts choking life out of his ability to focus.   
“I liked her, she made you smile,” Jack said, his voice carrying through Aaron’s mind like a song. Jack’s words always spoke to him differently, always sounded so prolific in his mind. She made me smile, he thought. When was the last time someone made me smile? 

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

A week had gone by since your ‘interview’ with Aaron, and each day that went by made you feel more hopeless. He was clearly going through a lot, but you felt like you had your shit together, and proved it. You couldn’t imagine any other nanny being able to clean up that mess as well as you did.   
You were beyond frustrated, and getting increasingly sick of sleeping on a couch. You tried to search for work elsewhere, but there was still nothing. You had lost hope, you were desperately trying to cling on to the idea that your phone would ring, and SSA Aaron Hotchner would be begging for you.   
Maybe you were too much for him. Not all men could handle a woman who can put them in their place. It came easy to you, as you had to spend most of your childhood picking up the pieces of your father and glueing him back together. You had a natural talent for telling men to suck it up, and actually having them listen.   
But maybe it didn’t work like that with Aaron. You didn’t know him very well, and although he seemed like the type of guy that just needed someone to tell him what to do step by step, maybe you had read him completely wrong.   
You would’ve delved more into your theory on Aaron’s alternate personality, but your phone started ringing and it broke your train of thought. You grabbed the small device and saw Aaron’s name pop up on your screen. You smiled slightly at the thought of him calling you, as if it felt like a small victory.   
“SSA Aaron Hotchner,” you answered, a smirk pasted across your face as you awaited his inevitable begging and pleading for you to come save him.   
“(Y/N), I’m so sorry we got off on the wrong foot last week. I haven’t been myself lately, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.” He sounded genuinely sorry, although you doubted that this is just because he “wasn’t himself lately”. These bursts of anger seemed ongoing, and went much deeper than Haley’s death.   
“I appreciate your apology, Aaron.”  
“I hate to ask this, but I am getting pulled to Florida for a case. I could really use you to stay with Jack until I get back.”  
“I’m not really sure if I can, Aaron,” you lied, trying to sound sincere.   
“Please, (Y/N). I’ll pay you double what the next family is offering. We have the house, now, too. You’ll have a whole room and bathroom for yourself. Please.” His voice was defeated, exhausted. You felt for him, your heart breaking as you could imagine the look in his face as his last hope flew out the window.   
“Okay, I’ll help you out,” you agreed, your need to take care of Jack overcoming your frustrations with his dad. The child needed somebody he could rely on, you knew what it was like to grow up without that. It was your duty to take care of him, to make sure he doesn’t have to suffer the way you did.   
“You are a savior, (Y/N). I will text you the new address.” You could feel Aaron’s smile through the phone, the obvious weight off his shoulders making his voice lighter and less stern.   
“I can be over in an hour or so. I need to get my bags and stuff.”  
“Of course, take your time. I can’t thank you enough, again.”  
“Jack is a very good kid, Aaron. I would love to be a part of his life.”  
There was silence on both ends, for a moment. You waited for him to say something, but you had a feeling he was at a loss for words. He seemed like the type of person who rarely couldn’t think of something to say, so you could only imagine his frustration as he choked over his own voice in front of you.   
“I can be there in about an hour or so. I just need to run home and grab some things if I’ll be staying there,” you finally said, hoping it would make him feel a little less awkward.   
“Perfect, I’ll text you the new address. I’ll see you in a bit, (Y/N). Thank you, again.”   
“I’ll see you soon.”   
You hung the phone up and stared at it for a moment, replaying the conversation over and over in your head. Your ears were ringing loudly as you thought through the words, a weird feeling encompassing you. You had a gut feeling that you shouldn’t have accepted his offer. Your father always used to tell you to trust your gut, it was probably the thing you remembered him saying most. You could hear his slurred voice, the alcohol taking control of his cognitive functions. He’d lean down to you, the smell of whiskey stuck to his breath, and whisper, “If you only remember one thing about me kid, remember me telling you this. Always listen to your gut feeling, it is always right.” And, ironically enough, you did remember that. Unfortunately it was not the only thing you remembered about him, though. You wished you were that lucky.   
But now that you were here, feeling uncomfortably sick as you packed a small bag to head over to Aaron’s, you were actively not following his advice. He was a crazy drunk, and the last thing you should do is listen to him, right? Besides, you were just nannying for a widow and his motherless child, that’s totally a good thing. You have no idea why you’re freaking out the way you are. You were doing a good thing, helping a family that really needed you. No matter what, that was the most important thing. They needed you, and you couldn’t walk away from a situation like this.   
You threw enough clothes and toiletries to last you a few days into a bag, knowing you could come back for the rest of your stuff when Aaron got back. He clearly needed to urgently be somewhere, and you were sure he wouldn’t appreciate you dragging all of your boxes through his house while he needed to go solve a murder. You said goodbye to your sister, who was clearly trying to hide her excitement about you leaving. She loved you, but needed her own space, as much as you did. You, too, were happy to be getting out. The two of you spent your whole childhoods living together, and that was plenty of that.   
You got into your car and turned the directions on to the new house, immediately recognizing the street. It was one of the wealthier neighborhoods in DC, a cluster of mini mansions for all the affluent people amongst the capital. You didn’t realize Aaron had that kind of money, feeling underdressed and underprepared to enter such a nice house.   
When you finally did arrive, almost exactly one hour after you got off the phone with Aaron, you were still shocked to see the beautiful house you would be staying at. It was by far the most beautiful in the whole neighborhood, at least in your perspective. There were multiple protective gates throughout the area, which made sense given the amount of important people living here. You could see why Aaron would’ve picked a place like this, given what happened to Haley. The security made him and Jack feel safe, and it made you feel safe, as well.   
You pulled into a long cobblestone driveway, the intimidating exterior towering over you. You could see Jack and Aaron watching you from a window, Jack waving in excitement as you got out of your car and walked towards the door. You smiled and waved at him, all of your nerves washing away when you remembered what a wonderful little boy he was.   
Aaron opened the door as you approached, dressed impressively in a suit, which you guess was his work attire.   
“(Y/N), come on in,” he waved, carrying Jack in his arms as you entered the house. The inside was just as glamorous and beautiful as the out, and you felt wrong even setting your things down on anything. Aaron could sense your hesitation, and set Jack down to come talk to you.   
“Why don’t I show you to your room, and you can set your things down?”   
“Thank you,” you responded, feeling somewhat inferior to him now. For most of your interactions, it seemed like you had the upper hand, but now that you were working for him, in his home… It felt so much different. Maybe it was the suit, but his sense of authority and natural dominance filled the room, overpowering any sense of composure you had.   
You followed him to a nicely furnished guest bedroom, one you were sure he hired somebody to decorate. It was alarmingly feminine and delicate, watercolor birds hanging on the wall, frilly white quilt covering the bed. It was not something that yelled Aaron Hotchner.   
“It was Haley’s stuff. Jack wanted to keep it,” he whispered, staring in nostalgia at the items around the room.   
“Oh, Aaron, are you sure I should be…” you trailed off, looking in discomfort at the items around you.   
“I wasn’t expecting you today, or I would’ve changed it over. There’s blankets and sheets in the closet. You can move it all.”   
“Alright,” you responded timidly, feeling increasingly guilty as you continued to stay in the room. You set your bag on the floor, making sure it came nowhere near any of her things. “Maybe we could put them in Jack’s room, if it’s important to him,” you suggested, seeing the pain Aaron was feeling as he thought about saying goodbye to the last piece of her he had.   
“That’s a good idea, yeah,” he half-heartedly responded. “Are you all set here? I really need to get going.”   
“Yeah, absolutely. Has Jack had dinner?”   
“Not yet, I got the call when I was about to start cooking.”  
“No worries, I’m told I’m an excellent cook,” you teased, trying to make the man smile at least once.   
“You’ll have to prove that to me when I get back,” he responded, a slight smirk forming as he spoke. His tone was slightly flirtatious, and made your heart race as he made eye contact with you. You looked away from him, refusing to let even one small slip up between you. Your relationship here, your business with Aaron- it had to remain strictly professional. You wouldn’t allow it to be anything more.   
“Have a safe flight, Aaron. Call us when you land.” 

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

It seemed that every time Aaron came home from a case, him and the rest of the team would look at each other and remark about this case was ‘extremely tough’. It seemed to happen every flight home, though. Every case he worked was extremely tough. There was never a break, and honestly, that lifestyle could be exhausting. He was already dealing with so much, it didn’t seem fair that his work life wasn’t slowing down for him.   
The whole trip he was a nervous wreck, texting Jack and (Y/N) every hour to make sure they were okay. He knew he was in excellent hands with her, he could tell that she would be a wonderful caretaker. But he couldn’t help but picture Foyet, coming back from his bloody death to finish what he started. He watched Jack die every night in his nightmares, and now (Y/N) was with him, too.   
Aaron was terrified to bring anyone into his life, even as simple as a nanny. Anyone he knew became a possible victim, and the thought of that made him sick. He had ruined Haley, what if the same happened to her? He told himself over and over that he would be smarter this time, faster and better, he would never let another George get away. But that was all talk, wasn’t it? He still let him get away in the first place, and his skills as a profiler weren’t any better now then they were then. In all honesty, they were probably worse, all things considering.   
So what would he do if it happens again? The thought kept him awake at night, every night. He was crumbling, completely falling apart, and it seemed that no one around him even paid attention. Derek picked up on a few things, but wouldn't be able to do anything about it. And Aaron was getting better and better at lying every day. It was only a matter of time before the few people that did pay attention lost focus.   
Aaron walked slowly into the BAU, the rest of the team following behind. They were chatting and laughing like it was any other day, but Aaron’s ears rang at the sound of their voice. He felt hungover, his head pounding and his throat dry. He didn’t say much to anyone as he walked straight to his office, closing the door swiftly behind him and turning the lights off. He sat on his chair for a moment, enjoying the silence and darkness of the room. He became absorbed in it, becoming one with nothingness. He imagined for a moment if this was what death was like, just total and complete emptiness. It was almost peaceful, if he dug deep beneath the eeriness. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of his existence.  
There was a knock on the door, and Aaron opened his eyes grudgingly. His moment of peace was abruptly taken away, but he was used to that. He usually never got more than a few minutes of calm before the universe decided he was no longer worthy. He stood up quietly, turning on the light switch and grabbing the door handle. He opened it reluctantly, a clearly nervous Derek awaiting him on the other side. ‘Please don’t say we need to leave,’ Aaron thought, feeling sick at the thought of getting back on that jet. He wanted, needed to see his son tonight.   
“Sorry to bother you, boss, but you have some visitors,” Derek smiled, stepping aside to reveal Jack and (Y/N) standing down by the doors, talking to JJ.   
Aaron immediately felt a sense of comfort seeing them here. He craved the warmth and stability of a family, something that was far from the four walls of this office. He smiled down at the pair, who looked up and waved to him, excitement across Jack’s face as he saw his dad. They started walking up to him, Jack skipping in happiness as he jumped into Aaron’s arms.   
“I am so sorry to bother you at work, Jack was just insistent that we come see you. He told me he wouldn’t sleep tonight if we didn't,” (Y/N) spilled, looking exhausted as she watched Jack snuggle into his father.   
“Oh, he plays that game all the time. By 8:30, he’s always completely passed out,” Aaron chuckled, remembering all the times his son would ‘refuse’ to sleep to get what he wanted.   
“We brought you food. I’m sure you haven’t been eating well the past few days,” she said, frowning slightly as she looked over him, almost as if she could tell he hadn't been taking care of himself.   
“Let’s go to my office,” Aaron whispered, walking into the room and closing the door behind them. (Y/N) was pulling tupperware out of a bag, the smell of home cooked food making his stomach grumble. He couldn't remember the last time somebody made real food for him, not like this.   
“It’s lasagna,” Jack yelled, his childish voice tripping over the word ‘lasagna’.  
“I hope I prove to be a good enough cook for you, Agent Hotchner,” (Y/N) teased, handing Aaron a container full of food. She was trying to hide her smile, but wasn’t doing the best job at it. Aaron watched her closely, his eyes gazing over her shiny pink lips, a complement of her lip gloss. His eyes continued to trail, losing themselves in her breasts, which were spilling out of her low shirt. It was hard not to stare, as if she was inviting him in, luring him like a sailor with her sweet song. Her perfume was an intoxicating blend of vanilla and cashmere, like being wrapped in the world’s softest blanket and handed a plate full of fresh cookies.   
He felt so intoxicated by her, his mind dizzy as she watched him eat. The food was, as he suspected it would be, absolutely delicious. Every bite filled his stomach with warmth and comfort, a sense of wholeness as he ate food that didn’t come from a drive thru for the first time in a week.   
“Is it good?” She asked, her soft voice wrapping itself around his brain until all he could think about was the sweet way she spoke.   
“It’s delicious, (Y/N). Thank you, so much.”   
“I had a really wonderful time with Jack the past few days. He’s such an amazing kid. If there’s an offer, I’d really love to come work for you for real.”   
“I thought that was implied,” Aaron laughed, unable to imagine anyone but her looking after Jack. She was everything he could not be, and he wouldn’t find another person like her very easily.   
“You never actually said if it was just for this trip or not… I just wanted you to know I’d really like to stay with you guys.” She was sitting on his desk, leaning towards Aaron as he sat in his chair and ate. Jack had lost himself with a few of the toys Aaron kept in the office, and the room was filled with noises of him playing. There was no way their whispers could be heard by anybody but them.   
Aaron wasn’t sure what happened next, exactly. He lost himself for a moment, as she reached her hand and placed it on top of his. Her hand was soft, the sweetness of her flesh so apparent as it touched his dry, rough hands. Her perfume was even more intoxicating as she got closer to him, his eyes unable to focus as he breathed her in.   
“I just want you to know,” she whispered, her thumb involuntarily rubbing his hand in comfort. “I am really sorry about what happened to Haley. I want to help you guys however I can. But you can’t keep living in pain, Aaron. You have to allow yourself to be happy again. For Jack. He needs his dad.”   
Aaron felt like a knife had stabbed him right in the heart, the sharp burning causing him to wince. He pulled his hand away from her, bringing it to his lap and grabbing his leg.   
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk about my personal life,” he instructed, locking himself back up, invalidating any moment they had shared a moment ago.   
“Aaron, this is about Jack. If you expect me to take care of your child, you have to address these issues.”   
Aaron stood up angrily, walking around his desk and grabbing Jack by the hand. He instructed him to the door, calling down for anyone to watch his son for a moment so he could speak to (Y/N) alone. We have to go over her contract, he lied, handing Jack to JJ as he went back in his office and shut the door.   
“Who the hell do you think you are?” He barked, taking his suit jacket off and throwing it on the desk. He was hot, sweat collecting on his forehead as he paced around the room.   
“I’m trying to do what’s best for Jack.”   
“You barely know Jack!”   
“I know what it’s like to have an emotionally unavailable father, Aaron. I’m trying to prevent him from having to know what that is like. I don’t want him to have to take care of you. You are his dad, and he needs you to do that for him. I can only do so much. I can’t be everything that you are.” She was upset, breathless. He watched her stare at the ground, a look of defeat in her eyes.   
“What happened to him? Your dad?” Aaron watched her face as she was forced to recount her childhood, trying her best to figure out the right words to explain years of trauma into a few sentences.   
“He was CIA back when I was really young. We moved around a lot. My mom got sick of it and left, took all of us to New York to start over. Then she died, plane crash. And we went back with my dad. He wasn’t the same, after she died. He was a fragment of a person and no matter how much I tried to put the pieces together, they would never stick. Eventually I gave up on him, and started picking up the pieces of other people.”  
(Y/N) stared at Aaron helplessly, awaiting a response. She had seemingly spilled her whole life on the table. Opening up even the smallest of secrets to a profiler was basically like showing him the whole book. He now understood why she did everything the way she did, why she sought out families like him, why she was the perfect person to take care of them.   
“I’m sorry if I offended you. Maybe this isn’t going to work out after all. I just don’t know what you want.”   
A knock on the door made her jump, her face startled from the silence. Aaron rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath, wishing he could have one complete conversation with her without getting interrupted. He walked slowly to the door, glancing back at her as she shifted uncomfortably, not knowing where she stood with him.   
“I’m sorry to bother you, sir, but we have a case. Briefing room in ten?” Spencer stood in the doorway, unaware of the tension he had just stepped into. He smiled brightly at (y/N), giving her a nod of acknowledgment.   
“Alright, thanks.” Aaron closed the door swiftly, turning back towards (Y/N). He felt like he was suffocating, like the world had completely collapsed around him. He felt his face getting hot, the unfamiliar feeling of tears filling his eyes.   
“Agent Hotchner…” (Y/N) whispered, taking a few wary steps towards him.   
“It’s just so exhausting, (Y/N),” he laughed, wiping the tears from his face and smiling at the ceiling. “I just want to hold my son. I want to be a dad. But I can’t walk away from this. There are terrible people out there and I can help put them away. I can’t walk away from that.”   
“You can do both. It’s possible. You just have to be strong,” she assured, placing a hand on his face and stroking his cheek.   
“I do need you…” he whispered, collapsing himself into her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible. He desperately needed a hug, he didn’t realize quite how bad until he was in her arms, her warmth and softness protecting him from the darkness he usually lived in.   
“Go get the bad guy… I’ll get Jack home. I promise we will make it work.”   
Aaron smiled at her, her bright eyes staring up at him. She believed in him, believed he could be a dad and an agent. She was one of the few people that thought he could do it all. Maybe it was because she knew he could only do it all if she was around.   
(Y/N) and Jack left a few minutes later, Jack hugging his father tightly as he said his goodbyes. Aaron felt the darkness fall back around him once they left, missing the pair deeply as soon as they were out of his site.   
“She’s cute,” Spencer teased, a stupid grin pasted across his face.   
“Oh, pretty boy, I think she’s a little out of your league… seems like the type to go for a guy like me,” Derek laughed, winking at Spencer.   
“Right, if she likes douchebags, you’d be perfect for her.” Spencer and Emily laughed as Derek rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Spencer’s head.   
“Unfortunately I don’t think either of you are her type…” Aaron whispered, catching the subtle smell of her perfume, that must’ve engrained itself on his clothes when they hugged. He lightly touched his chest where her head had been, missing the feel of her body against his. 

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

You didn’t see Aaron for four days after the night in his office. You heard from his sporadically, but you spent every minute glued to your phone, praying to whoever would listen to bring him home safe. He wouldn’t tell you anything about the case, but you knew what city he was in, and it wasn’t hard to find out what was going on with easy access to all the local news stations.   
You waited day and night for his call that he was coming home, he was going to be out of danger and the bad guy was locked up. The worst part was going hours without hearing from him, not sure if he had gotten stabbed or shot or kidnapped by a crazed unsub.   
Jack made the days go by easier, though. You made sure to fill your days together with lots of adventures; taking him everywhere he wanted to go. The zoo was his favorite- the two of you had already gone three times since you started watching him. Jack could stare for hours at the penguins if you let him, curiously watching each one swim by, smiling as they splashed around in the water.   
Tonight, you were lazily cooking dinner in the kitchen, watching Jack play with his toys in the living room. You slowly stirred some pasta, your thoughts clouded with Aaron. You couldn’t deny the obvious and intense connection the two of you had. Every time you were in the same room it felt like your whole body was on fire. You couldn’t resist touching him- even the slightest meeting of your flesh sent heat waves through your body. You missed him intensely when he wasn’t around, reminding yourself constantly of how good you felt when he was around.   
Your phone rang from the counter, breaking you from your thoughts. Jack ran from the living room, searching for your phone.   
“Is it daddy?” He asked, trying to climb on the counter and grab your phone. You laughed at him, clearly way too little to get up to the counter. You grabbed him in your arms, setting him on the counter and grabbing your phone. You smiled as you saw Aaron’s name pop up on your phone. You answered the call and handed the phone to Jack, who excitedly yelled into the phone at his dad.   
You listened to their conversation for a few moments, holding on to Jack to make sure he wouldn’t fall from the counter. You heard the muffled sound of Aaron’s voice coming from the phone, clear joy as he spoke to his son.   
“He wants to talk to you!” Jack exclaimed, holding the phone out to you. You grabbed him in your arms and set him down on the ground. As soon as hit feet hit the floor, he ran back to the living room to continue playing, excited his dad was finally coming home.   
“Hey, Aaron,” you smiled, your heart racing as you waited for the sound of his voice.  
“How are you?” He sounded worried, a stern tone in his words.   
“I’m fine, just making dinner. Is everything okay with you?”   
“Just a hard case. I’m sorry to be weird. We’re taking off soon… I should be home in a few hours.”  
“Did you eat dinner yet?” You knew how terribly he ate when he was working, you weren’t sure how he managed to stay alive with his poor sleep and eating habits. You tried your best to check up on him when he was gone, but it’s a little hard to control someone when they’re in another part of the country.   
“I haven’t eaten today, no.” Aaron chuckled slightly, the sound of his laugh, remembering his smile… it made you crave him.   
“Please be safe. Text me when you land,” you begged, your worry setting in again as you thought of something happening to the plane.   
“I promise. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” He hung up, leaving you in silence. You took a few deep breaths, replaying his words over in your head. He promised he’d be safe. He’ll be fine.   
You continued cooking your dinner, listening to the sound of Jack giggling and playing. You hesitantly poured yourself a small glass of wine, feeling a bit wrong to drink ‘on the job’, but your anxiety was just too much. You needed the numb of a little alcohol to keep you sane.   
Aaron had a thing for wine, which meant the house was full of it. You knew which bottles were collectibles, never to be opened. And you knew which bottles were for casual drinking, like tonight. He tried to hide his personal liquor stash, but you knew exactly where to find.   
What you didn’t know about was his infatuation with scotch. When you opened up the ‘secret’ cabinet, you were shocked to find multiple different bottles of seemingly expensive liquor. Most of them were opened, about half full, which meant they were safe for drinking. You had never been into scotch before, at least you didn’t think, but there was something about pouring a glass of his special liquor, drinking out of the glass he had set aside for himself. It made you feel closer to him, your connection growing with each sip of the liquid.   
Scotch burns, and the taste wasn't entirely pleasant. You could only stand a few sips before you set the glass down, choking down water to clean your mouth of the sting. You finished cooking quickly after, making up too messy plates of spaghetti for the two of you. You set aside some extra pasta and sauce for Aaron, making sure he would have something to eat when he came home.   
You and Jack ate quickly, Jack excitedly going on and on about his dad coming home. Once you finished eating, you gave him a quick bath and got him in his favorite spiderman pajamas. You promised him if he was good during bath time he could stay up until Aaron got home. You knew he’d pass out way before, but the idea of waiting up for his dad got him excited.   
Once he was all ready for bed, the two of you plopped on the couch and turned on a movie. Jack desperately wanted to watch Monsters Inc, again. It was his favorite movie at the moment, and he practically knew every word. You were starting to memorize it as well. You groaned in exhaustion as you placed the DVD in, fake smiling in excitement at Jack as you started the movie.   
Thankfully he was asleep within 20 minutes of the film. You wanted to turn it off, but he was locked on your arm and you couldn’t reach the remote. You sighed quietly, leaning your head back and closing your eyes, hoping you could drown out the sound of the movie and take a quick nap yourself. And you were asleep just a few minutes later, cuddled with Jack on the couch as the movie continued to play in the background. 

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Aaron parked his car in his driveway, staring at his house for a moment before walking in. He was incredibly exhausted from the last case, the face of the unsub still burned in his mind. He couldn’t close his eyes without feeling sick- seeing the bodies of the women he tortured. It made him sick. He was hoping that being back in his own house, his own bed, with Jack and (Y/N), would make everything okay again.   
And it did. He quietly walked through the door, setting his bag down in the hallway as he came in. He heard the faint sound of the TV calling him towards the living room. As he walked in, he saw (Y/N) and Jack sleeping together on the couch. They were snuggled under a blanket, Jack wrapped in her arms. Aaron smiled at the two, a feeling of warmth and love washing over him immediately. He reached out to (Y/N), slightly touching her face and brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.   
“Oh…” she whispered, startled. She sat up slowly, careful not to wake Jack. She smiled as she saw Aaron, happy he was back home.   
“Let me bring him to bed,” Aaron whispered, picking up Jack in his arms and walking him to his bedroom. He laid him down on the small bed, covering him with his blankets and kissing him on the forehead.   
He walked back out into the living room to see (Y/N) in the kitchen, putting together a plate of food.  
“Come eat,” she instructed, pointing a steaming plate of pasta on the counter. Aaron walked happily to the kitchen, taking a seat on a stool and eating his food with delight. He noticed a glass on the counter behind him, half filled with a liquid he immediately recognized as scotch.   
“Did you drink some of my scotch?” Aaron raised an eyebrow at (Y/N), pointing to the glass behind her.   
“Shit…” she whispered. “Yes, I did, I am so sorry. It was a hard day.”   
“You’re fine,” Aaron chuckled, watching the girl’s face fill with relief. “Did you like it?”   
“Honestly, no. It was a little too much for me.”   
“You probably didn’t drink it right.”   
“What does that mean?”   
“Let me show you.” Aaron stood up, walking towards her and grabbing the glass. He was only inches from her, looking down to her as their bodies shared a space. “You want to take small sips. And hold it in your mouth. If you swallow it right away, you will only taste the alcohol. If you allow it to sit in your mouth, you’ll get the other tastes as well.” He took a small sip, letting the spicy liquor sit on his tongue.   
“That’s bullshit,” she whispered, rolling her eyes. “Alcohol is gross no matter what.”   
“Try it,” he encouraged, handing her the glass. She grabbed it slowly, her fingers wrapping around the glass. Aaron brought the glass up to her lips, both of their hands still locked around it. She took a small sip, her lips moving awkwardly as she held the liquor in her mouth.   
“Better?” Aaron whispered, his hand somehow finding its way to the small of her back.   
“I hate to disappoint you but it’s still pretty awful,” she giggled, scrunching her face as he set the glass down on the counter. Aaron laughed with her, pulling her close to him. He felt completely out of control of his actions, knowing what a terrible idea it was to be here, with her… touching her… holding her… But (Y/N) leaned into it, her hands holding his face and her body pressed against his. They were inches apart, the smell of the alcohol still lingering on her lips.   
Aaron didn’t even realize how it happened, but in one quick moment their lips met and he could no longer pull away from her. Her kiss had entrapped him- a kiss of true passion and connection that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. It felt like their bodies had completely melted into each other. Her lips were soft and young, her kisses eager and excited as his tongue explored her mouth.   
His hands dragged down to her waist, pulling her into him, leaving no space between their intertwining bodies. In a swift movement, he picked her up and placed her on the counter, finding a home between her legs as he continued to kiss her. His mouth trailed down her neck and onto the flesh of her exposed chest, kissing every part of her that he could to make sure she was real.   
“Aaron…” she whispered, breathlessly. “We shouldn’t do this.”   
He knew it was true, and clearly so did she, but the words still stung. He stopped kissing her, backing away for a moment. They looked at one other, each waiting for the other to say something.   
“Take your clothes off,” he instructed, folding his arms and leaning against the counter. He watched her as she furrowed her brows, confused at the request.   
“Aaron, do you think that’s a good idea?”   
“I am your boss… it’s in your best interest to listen to my requests.” A devilish grin crept across his face, her eyes wide with excitement and nerves as she slowly stripped for him. He watched her undress, her soft skin glowing in the light of the kitchen.   
He walked back over to her once she was naked, picking her up and putting her back on the counter. He kissed her again, he kisses now filled with more aggression and lust. He trailed his lips down to her breasts, playing with her nipples with his tongue. She shook under him, moaning quietly as he kissed down her stomach and around his thighs.   
He got down to his knees, separating her legs and staring in need at her. He kissed up her inner thighs, teasing her as he got closer and closer to where she craved him. He started to slowly taste her, his tongue moving rhythmically on her clit as she twisted under him.   
“Holy fuck,” she moaned, wrapping her fingers through his hair.   
“Shhh…” Aaron whispered, pulling away from her center and looking up to her. “Jack is sleeping, you have to be quiet babe….”   
She nodded quietly, giggling as she placed a hand over her mouth. He laughed at her, bringing himself back to her pussy. He continued to devour her until she came, her body shaking as she experienced her high. She kept her mouth covered, staying quiet as promised.   
Aaron stood up, unbuckling his belt and taking his pants off. He pulled himself out of his boxers, his cock throbbing as he lined himself up with her. She stared with wide eyes at him, clearly never experiencing someone as big as him. He could sense her concern, and he slid himself slowly into her until he was all the way in. He held himself inside for a moment, giving her a moment to adjust to him.   
“You okay?” He asked, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.   
“Mhmm…” she whispered, moving her hips towards him in an effort to get him to start moving.   
He began fucking her slowly, taking in the feeling of being inside her. She dug her nails into his back as he began picking up the speed. He could tell he was close to coming already, not remembering the last time he felt this level of pleasure. He brought her lips up to his, kissing her deeply as he released himself into her. He continued to kiss her afterwards, keeping himself inside, too afraid of what would happen once they came down from their high and realized what they did.   
He felt sick, his stomach turning as he thought of Jack. He had brought this girl in to take care of his son, and now he was getting her wrapped up in his personal life. He pulled out of her aggressively, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He quickly put his clothes back on, while she stared down at him in confusion.   
“Get dressed,” he demanded, throwing her some of her clothes.   
“Relax, Aaron. I will in a second.”   
“It’s Agent Hotchner. And you are in my house, you’ll do as I ask. Get dressed.” He snapped, digging his nails into his palms.   
“Okay, Agent Hotchner. I’m sorry,” she responded, quickly getting dressed.   
“This can never happen again, (Y/N).” He looked at her, feeling equally terrible and amazing. A part of him was so drawn to her, their pure connection and attraction undeniable. But he knew he couldn’t have her- it was implausible. He had to step away. He had to.   
“It won’t happen again, Agent Hotchner.”


End file.
